Comparing Sarah’s life and mine as class started
I saw myself in her, but only a little. After her parents dropped her off at the dorm, she stared into space and said, “I live here now.” She didn’t look excited, just kind of “blah.” To me, she seemed unsure and a bit self-pitying about her life in college. That’s understandable. She’s only 18 and still figuring things out.
I don’t feel the same way. Even though I’m going through a lot, I try to stay positive and see school as a blessing. I’m almost 45, and my perspective is different. I’m not here to “find myself.” I already know who I am. I’m here to grow.
The first six weeks have been intense. I’m juggling schoolwork with responsibilities at home. I help my husband with our business. I’m the administrator, secretary, accounts payable, and CFO. I do the taxes, the books, and even have to go to the county clerk’s office to fight the taxes they say we owe on our house and cars. My husband travels a lot, so I handle house repairs, car maintenance, and anything else that needs fixing. Right now, I’m also dealing with a bathroom renovation.
On top of that, I’ve started perimenopause. Brain fog, poor sleep, memory lapses, poor cognition, and anxiety I haven’t felt in years. I never had this much struggle in my life. As the saying goes, “I’m on the struggle bus.” Some days feel heavy, but I remind myself to keep going.
I also put pressure on myself to get straight A’s and keep a 4.0 GPA. I got a 98% on my Legal Environment in Business exam, just one mistake, and 96% on my accounting exam, and I still beat myself up. My brain doesn’t feel as sharp as before, and I blame it on getting older. Sarah doesn’t seem to stress about grades like I do. With help from a new friend, I’m learning to lighten up. They say C’s still get the degree, and many CEOs were C students while straight-A students became the worker bees—haha.
And then there are my two needy and spoiled Old English bulldogs, Hank and Lucy. I cook them wild-caught Alaskan sockeye salmon and oven-baked sweet potato fries, peeled and sliced by me from the Amish store, to mix with their prescription kibble. I want them to live-as long as possible. I leave for school by 8:30 a.m. and I try to get home by 5pm for them, but this week has been 7 p.m. I feel guilty not being home by 5pm for them. I can’t do schoolwork at home, my dogs just want to cuddle, and I feel guilty saying no.
Sarah has a small group of friends, but she doesn’t seem to appreciate them yet. I’ve only connected with two people so far, but I’m thankful. I try to smile or say “Hi” at students who do not smile and live by Charles Swindoll’s words: “No one needs a smile more than those who have none to give.” I say hi, even to someone like Sarah.
Unlike her, I commute 40 minutes each way. It’s harder to build friendships, but I believe they’ll grow with time.
Dear writer,
I am really proud of you for coming to school even when you are almost 45. It is really cool that you came to school to help your husband with his business. I know coming to college was definitely nerve-racking, but as a freshman, I still get nervous. I have been here since August, as I am a member of the cheer team. It is okay to feel anxious and have a hard time, but please know that if you ever need help, there are professors who can assist you and classmates who are willing to help. I am proud of you for setting goals for yourself, but don’t be too hard on yourself about not getting a perfect test grade. A 98% is outstanding, and you should be proud of yourself. Nobody i sprefect abd even if you get a c in a class you are still passing. School is tough for me in general, and I study every day, sometimes not going to bed until midnight because I’m working on assignments. However, sometimes you need to rest your busy mind, as you can become ill from not getting enough rest. It’s nice that you want to be home with your dogs by 5, but they also don’t know what time it is, so it’s okay if you get home late sometimes. But even if you get home late, they will still love you because they missed you and haven’t seen you all day. You shouldn’t feel guilty for getting home late, as you are just trying to complete your work before heading home for the night. Having a small group of friends can be good sometimes. If your friends are busy, though, and can’t hang out, then it might be hard to have a small friend group. I encourage you to consider joining a club to meet new people or get out there and make new connections.
I really loved reading your post. It was so kind and encouraging, and I can tell that you genuinely care about others and want to see people succeed. I think it’s amazing that you took the time to support someone who came back to school later in life, because that kind of encouragement really matters. A lot of people don’t realize how intimidating it can be to start or return to college, especially when juggling responsibilities like work, family, or even helping a spouse’s business. Your message shows a lot of empathy and understanding toward that experience. I also relate to the part where you talked about being nervous as a freshman. Even though we’re at different stages, that anxiety is something almost everyone feels at some point. It’s reassuring to hear someone else admit that, because it makes college feel a little less lonely and overwhelming. I agree completely that rest is important, too. I tend to overwork myself sometimes, and I’ve noticed that when I finally take a break or get enough sleep, I actually do better on assignments. It’s nice that you reminded others that rest isn’t laziness; it’s part of staying healthy and focused. Your advice about not being too hard on yourself over grades really stuck with me. It’s easy to forget that a 98% or even a passing grade is still something to be proud of. Nobody is perfect, and I like how you reminded us that learning is what truly matters. I also liked what you said about having a small friend group but being open to meeting new people. Joining clubs or groups really can make a big difference. Overall, your post was positive and heartfelt. It honestly made me smile.