Who Will You Be in Four Years?
Dear future Autumn,
I’m not really sure how to start this, writing to my future self feels kind of awkward. There’s so many “what ifs”. I’ll start off with the fact that I hope you’re living a life that feels right, not one that just looks right. And I hope you’re reading this shaking your head, wishing you could go back in time to tell me that it was all worth it. I hope that you’ve continued to be courageous and steadfast even in the darkest of days. But most of all, I hope you haven’t changed. I hope you still find joy in the little things like the sitting in silence in the common area with your roommates with the occasional giggles from something we saw on our phones or going to the gym to make awful attempts at shooting a free throw with Lincoln, Quinn, and Anthony or going out on late night walks and trying to find the planets among the stars. Speaking of Quinn, we had some awesome roommates our freshman year! They sure did make college more bearable, along with Lincoln and Anthony. I plan on trying out for the softball club team, I’m confident I can make the team, if not I’ll be a little disappointed but it’s better to say I tried and failed then I didn’t try at all, am I right! I hope you continue to try out for the team, and I hope you made the most out of everything. I hope you go out whenever you get the chance to and explore new connections with people instead of staying within your roommates. If I’m being honest, I’m not sure where or who I’ll be in four years, so I hope you’ve at least accomplished graduating and going into grad school. That’s all I ask. You don’t have to have everything figured out, life can be so unpredictable. All I ask is that we become successful enough to live a stable life and help dad out whenever we can! You should be entering grad school right about now, now that I’m thinking about it. Are you still planning to major in pre-med? Are you still hoping to become a psychiatrist? Or have you gone down a different route? Maybe into a different field of being able to help people with mental disorders? Either way, I know any choice we make will be the right one for us.
With lots of love, your freshman self
I saw that you were discussing trying to get out of talking to people just in your immediate circle, like your suite mates, and I also am trying to do this as well. The way that I have found myself at least attempting this is by trying to make a conscious effort to go to different places on campus that I don’t necessarily need to go and by taking advantage of different resources offered. I have found that the involvement fair was a great way to at least make the first connection with many different people. I stopped by multiple different booths and spoke to students of different grades, backgrounds, and futures than me. Another great resource for me has been the writing center. I have gone a couple of times and now and have had the chance to not only get feedback on my school work, but also have conversations outside of just coursework. I have gotten advice and shared laughs with my tutors that I most likely would have never met, if not for going to the writing center. I haven’t quite gotten the whole meeting new people thing figured out but that’s just a couple of things that have helped me. I plan to start trying to, at least, make small talk with people in my residence hall and elevator to see what could come from it. Either it could bud into a lifelong friendship or be an awkward experience for the both of us, but either way the attempt was there on my end. I would suggest trying to do the same or come up with ways to just spark up a conversation with someone you may not normally have the chance or be tempted to talk to.
Dear Writer,
I really like the statement you made in the beginning about, “living a life that feels right, not just one that looks right.” I feel a lot of pressure myself to make sure I have a life that seems good to others, full of money, but money doesn’t always mean happiness. Another worry I can agree with is changing into someone I am not. College has so many influences and they are easy to fall into, you just have to make sure to keep your focus in front of you. I hope your softball tryouts go well, and I love your confidence. I can understand where you are coming from when you say you aren’t sure where you will be in the next four years. It is so hard to even assume where you will be because you never know what may happen. I currently think I want to be a labor and delivery nurse but for all I know I could hate that and want to specialize in something else. You don’t need to have it all figured out and the truth is I don’t think anyone ever will have it all figured out.